Hello all,

I realize it's been a fairly long time since my last update. Never fear, I have not forgotten. The antimatter just seems to be eating at me more than it used to.

I have recently acquired a job as an Accounts Receivable clerk at a local Roto Rooter office. It's decent pay, but I can't say that the job constitutes full-time. They opted to give me full time though, so no complaints. My main gripe is that it's a family-owned business, and it seems to me that this family should not be in business. Some people just aren't organized or motivated enough to run their own business. They literally have no procedures, very little in the way of a filing system, and their core program was written many years ago in DOS. They don't know why they even hit which buttons they hit, they just know it gets them where they need to be.

Needless to say, this has become a very stressful work environment. On top of the disorganization, they keep piling more tasks that are nowhere near being in my original job description. But for now, I just sigh and plod onward because I can't afford to not have a job again. I guess my life, creative pursuits, and projects will take a backseat to finance for the moment.

Back into the can for now, I go. Later on...

Are there dry cleaning tournaments as well?

hello all,

a lot has happened in the last couple of days. Firstly, my girlfriend and I were in a car accident. Don't worry, we're okay. It wasn't our fault either. Two girls ran a red light and missed hitting us by inches because my girlfriend slammed on the brakes. Unfortunately, she had to slam on the brakes so hard, the brake lines blew. So far as we hear, the mechanic said he was relaying all of her brake lines on her car. Worst part is, the two girls were obviously going to pick up drugs, since I followed them on foot to the apartment they were going to and they were only there for two minutes visiting a very shady looking guy. Not to mention, they didn't stop to exchange information, and they drove past laughing at us on their way out. So, my girlfriend hasn't had a car for a couple of days, which is unfortunate, because I've started to get jobs.

My job over the weekend has been to register guests and print off badges at SEFA, which is essentially a dry cleaning convention put together by a trade association. It's so weird realizing that there are 2000+ people in the southeast alone who are this psyched about dry cleaning. A lot of them act like they're some big celebrities too, like I'm supposed to know who they are. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem being courteous, but if they want their badge, I need to get their name. So yeah, long story short, that's been odd, but easy.

On Monday, I start as a monetary collections person for RotoRooter. Apparently the branch here in town is plowed under with unpaid customer invoices. I'm gonna do my best to give those a good fixin.

On top of everything, last night our air mattress sprung a leak. I was awakened to a loud farting noise on my chest. The girlfriend and I respectively vacated to the two other sleeping surfaces in the house: the other mattress and the couch.

Now I leave you to the antimatter, my friends, as I set out for another rolicking day of the dry cleaning convention. May you steam, press, and prosper.

This is what it sounds like...w-when wolves howl?

Hey all,

I'm feeling a little better from my last little outburst. Sorry you had to experience that, but then again, what are blogs for but creating controversy from judging the world?

The girlfriend and I went to the Oatland Island Wildlife Center here in Savannah. I didn't quite know what to expect since it isn't really a zoo and it's off the beaten path.

Let me tell you, this place is pretty cool. We got in for five bucks each, the staff was nice, and we got to see the animals fairly close-up. At least, closer than most zoos let you get. All told, we saw two bald eagles, a horned owl, four red falcons, a pig, a goose, three goats, a pond of small alligators, a black bear, a red fox, a cougar, and a pack of wolves.

It was pretty hot in Savannah for most of these animals, the climate being quite different from many of their respective natural habitats. I felt kind of bad for them, but they didn't look entirely unhappy. I got the impression, from the staff anyway, that the animals were pretty well taken care of. They didn't look sick or starved. I did end up telling a staff person that the cougar needed watering, his dish was empty.

Lastly, I'll tell you the coolest part of the entire day. We were walking back toward the main building to get ready to leave, and as we passed back near the wolf pen, the entire pack started to howl loudly. I personally had never seen a wolf pack in real life, let along see all of them begin to howl. The howling was followed by a struggle for dominance between a lounging lesser male and the alpha male. Needless to say, the lesser got peed on. Growling ensued.

I must say though, that single event was one of the most impressive and real things I've actually witnessed. It may not seem like much in text, but in person, it felt magical. I was awestruck.

As I ponder these wolves, my friends, I slip slowly into the antimatter universe. Transmission breaking...until next time.

How to get traffic to your blog...

ANSWER: nobody really knows.

Hell, I'm just broke, nerdy, and curious. I'm no business mogul. I can't tell you twelve ways to revolutionize your stock options, your daily output, your number of unique visitors...I just wanted to know how ads on websites worked in general, and AdSense didn't really seem that bad to me. I dove in and just chalked it up to a learning experience and something that might be fun on the side. But apparently, to everyone else, ads on "amateur" blogs are the corpulent wart on Satan's fiery O-ring. So sorry, Trent. Go back to protecting your soul patch goatee from all that pesky soy latte foam at your local altar of ecommerce adulation.

That's what gets me. Blogging as a new profession. It's a double-edged sword. Is it cool? Yeah, it really is. I've met some REALLY cool people in the past by blogging. It seems when money enters into it, like everything, it becomes as backstabbing, cutthroat, and petty as the sandbox in your local kindergarten play yard.

I mean, come on. How many sycophantic, pretentious, faux-intellectuals do we need on the internet blathering about inane bullshit? Really? I know what a lot of these self-righteous twits might have been called not ten years ago...wannabe writers. But now, oh now, heaven forbid we utter anything against the high and mighty expert on how to write a diary and get paid for it. So sorry, excuse me, I am but a mortal here.

The list of things you should or should not have on your blog fluctuates like the conversation about what part of the egg to eat used to. One minute lists are good, the next lists are bad, one minute ads are good, the next ads are bad, one minute, write with a human, every-man kind of voice, the next, write as an imitation Pulitzer journalist. Oh, New Yorker, here I come! You'll all bow before my wit and smarm one day, I tells ya!

The world cries out to me every day, a whole horde of people, ignorant, pretentious, you name it, and do you know what they all say? "I AM IMPORTANT!! I am far more important than ANYONE else. You all must back away and shrink out of my peripheral. If you dare approach me, you must have the utmost reverence for me, the all-high singular mind! I am human, hear me roar!" I swear, all this purple language, bluetooth use, and coffee-drenched ego are gettin me a little hot. I might have to take a cold shower...

Man, I wish everyone would get over themselves. For the record, I claim to be a fat, nerdy, out-of-work art student who has nothing to show for his life but a mountain of debt. That's who I "think I am." I'm no one important. I do not claim to be better than anyone, but I sure as hell know stupidity when I see it.

Perhaps I'll dive back into the antimatter to escape the forthcoming onslaught of negative repercussion, harsh words, biting judgment, and all that mess. Later on, friends.

It also leaves you smoking, dried up, and leaking juices...

Man Electrocutes Pickle to Promote Christianity.



Now what did that lil ole pickle do to deserve that?

Stick a fork in me...I'm done.

Breaking News...

WARNING:  The following video contains language that may be deemed inappropriate by some viewers.  It also contains hilarious stuff.  Be advised.

Performing tonight, for one night only...

Hey all,

Glad I've got some people stopping by to read at my own little corner of the web.

I just saw Mamma Mia! with my girlfriend.  She said I had to take her so that she wouldn't be embarrassed about going.  She's a costuming and theater student and she's not fond of the play, but she was wildly interested in the movie, so we went.  I was quite interested in it as well, being a lover of a good rock opera.

For those not in the know, Mama Mia! is a musical written around the songs of pop supergroup ABBA.  It's about a girl getting married who invites three men to her wedding to find out which one of them is her father.  The movie features an ensemble cast including Meryl Streep, Stellan Skarsgard, Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, Christine Baranski, and Julie Walters (Mrs. Weasley...YAY!).

For people who enjoy musicals, any of the people listed, ABBA, rock operas, Greece, or movies like Thelma and Louise or The Banger Sisters, I'd give this one a try.  The only downside is having ABBA in your head all day long if you don't enjoy ABBA music.  I do enjoy it, so it isn't a downside for me, but you WILL find yourself humming or singing ABBA songs to yourself.  Try to go with it.

I've been told that blog entries are better shorter than longer, so I'll end this one early.  If you like or don't mind the longer ones, let me know.  I could talk forever!

But for now...

Mama Mia, here I go again...ANTIMATTER, how could I resist ya?

first step into a larger world

So, so far I have had one click.  This has resulted in revenue of $0.12.  It is projected that after a thousand of these, I shall have eight dollars and some change.  I'm not sure how that math goes, but hey, it's their system.  Ah well, in the meantime I hope that you all enjoy the blog.

So, the new Movie Masters Dark Knight figures are out.  I was surprised to find no Two Face in their number.  They are as follows:  Batman (Begins suit), Fear toxin Batman (from Begins), and Scarecrow.  The Batmen come with batarangs and Scarecrow comes with his trademark burlap sack mask.  Now I was pretty excited about the Scarecrow one (and the absent Two Face one), but they went and put the Scarecrow in his dumb straight jacket robe that he only wears for one scene.  Why not just leave him in the business suit with the mask on.  *sigh*

Anyway, my quest rallying against the DVD player rebellion persists.  Last night, my girlfriend and I picked up a lens cleaner and tried that, to no avail.  It still skips like crazy.  The only trusty, reliable, beast of a DVD player that we can still use is one that my best friend bought me a couple of years ago.  Now is this because the player is newer or is it just that this seemingly no-name brand, "CyberHome" secretly makes the best DVD player on the planet?  I don't know the answer to that one.

In other news, I've been secretly re-addicted to Seinfeld as of late.  I have just seasons 6 and 8, because they have my favorite episodes (The Soup and The Bizarro Jerry), but let me tell you, if I had any money to spend, I'd be out getting the rest of the series right now.  Some shows are just golden.  The writing, of course, being one of the main elements that made Seinfeld so amazing.  Some consider it annoying that they stand around and make up cute little slang for everyday nothing events, but if those people think it's annoying...just don't watch the show.  That very thing is clearly one of the bits the show hinges on.

And now, I should like to list for you...

TV Shows That I Think Are The Nuts

Seinfeld - as already stated

Daria - this Beavis and Butthead spin-off was wittier, more fun, and had better character design.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 - isn't it ALWAYS fun to heckle movies (outside the theater, of course - see first post)

Liquid Television - remember this old groundbreaking, edgy animation show?  the birthplace of Aeon Flux

Red Dwarf - if you've never heard of it, it's basically Monty Python meets Star Trek.

BBC The Office - though I love Steve Carrell, I find the original far superior.  It was actually a limited series...a contained story.  That's much harder to do.  It seems the American one is just going on and on searching for catchphrases and gimmicks.

The Upright Citizens Brigade - a very undercredited sketch comedy show about an organization out to destabilize society

Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! - not for everyone, but if you find ugliness, awkwardness, and purposeful bad timing funny, this is for you.

Scrubs - one of the first really witty mainstream sitcoms to come around in quite a while.  I can't think of anything about this show that I don't like.

any Bruce Timm DC superhero cartoons - like comic books?  watch 'em.  seriously.  They include Batman the Animated Series (BTAS), Superman the Animated Series (STAS), Batman Beyond, and Justice League/ Justice League Unlimited (JLU).  Plus, they're doing direct-to-video comic book specific movies now.

Drew Carey Show - one of the first shows where the main guy wasn't afraid to be a geek.  included references to The Bananna Splits, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Priscilla: Queen of the Desert, and many more.  Launched the careers of Ryan Stiles, Diedrich Bader, and Christa Miller.

Family Guy - as sick as I am of seeing this show plastered all over every frat guy dorm room, Spencer's gifts, and electronic fart machine, this show actually is very very funny.  it survives its lowest common denominator's stupidity.

Extras - from Ricky Gervais, creator of The Office, comes a show about an extra and his friends trying to make it big in the movie business.

Firefly - one of the best sci-fi shows I've seen in a while.  Its ensemble cast proves that the hype is deserved.

Star Trek: The Next Generation - for me, forget kirk (blasphemy, I know), this is the REALLY good Star Trek.  Now if only we could move Spock and McCoy to THIS show.

Pee Wee's Playhouse - yeah, yeah, this is a kids' show, but I still love it.  As far as I'm concerned, I consider this as big a movement for Lowbrow Art as Ed "Big Daddy" Roth's Rat Fink.  The outright A.D.D. glory of this show prevails.

Robot Chicken - this show goes in the "hey that was my idea!  oh well, at least someone put it in a show..." category.  Seth Green and his crew do it up Mego style with some pop culture parody.

...ah, well, that was fun.

After that lengthy haul, I suppose I'll leave you to ruminate.  If you've been on the fence about any of those shows or have never heard of some of them, I heartily recommend any of them.  Good stuff.

Till next I blog...here am I sitting in my tin caaaaan, faaaar above the woooorld...

My neighbor is downstairs grilling burgers, hence my entire apartment smells like hamburger.  Awesome.  Very considerate.  Thanks muchly.

Anywho, I have officially been approved by the nice folks at Google for their AdSense program.  I'm awfully glad of that, since it's the next step in this little experiment o'mine.  Too bad their site is down right now.  Ironic timing, no?

I'm noticing now that The Dark Knight has been out for a couple of days that there is a clear divide among people in my social circles.  They either love it and are at least semi-obsessed or they haven't even seen it yet because they're so tired of the Batman trend.  For myself, I just really enjoyed Ledger's performance as the Joker.  I'm hesitant about seeing it again, though because I'm broke and I could do a lot of things with those two and a half hours.

Also, is it just me or have all DVD player electronics begun to rebel as of late?  All of our three DVD players in our apartment have begun to skip playing DVDs, even when there are absolutely no scratches on the disc.  It has occurred to us to purchase a laser lens cleaner.  We're going to try that first.

Back to being broke, I heard somewhere that this economic recession we seem to be in is the closest our country has been to depression era conditions since that time.  From my position, I'd believe it.  Being a white male who happens to, for the moment, need to live in the south, I cannot get a job.  After all, being a young white male, I suppose I'm already supposed to have all of the advantages...r-right?  Well, not from where I sit.  All I have is $130K worth of debt from a supposedly prestigious art university and nothing to show for it that I didn't have before I attended.

But I'm not bitter.  I'm using my creativity to try and find other ways of income to support myself until I can find a stable job.  This blog is merely one of those avenues, albeit an experimental one.  I'll most likely continue this blog no matter what just because I find it fun.  I am, after all, an entertainer at heart.  I should hope that my ramblings aren't too droll for any of you.  I'm sure my whining side will burn off within the week, giving way to some even more humorous rants as they happen.

For now, though, I shall drift back into the electric pink and purple-hued gaseous vacuum of the antimatter can.  Anyone reading having any suggestions for topics, shoot me a line at matthewjohn42@yahoo.com.

Ugh...burger smell can penetrate even the antimatter-verse...

Never have I ever...

I have just returned from a party that my girlfriend's friend was throwing for her birthday.  She's a young'un, but I showed up because she's a sweet girl.

That said, I can confidently say that to sophomores in college and below...I am an old person.

It all started when I entered.  Apparently I was just in time, for they were starting a drinking game, "Ring of Fire," cool...a classic.  I (once caught up on regional variances of rules) know how to play this.

Now, I've never been one for drinking games.  Back with my friends in Michigan, most of the time we'd just drink until we could barely speak and get randy or pass out.  The game more or less just gets in the way.

I was affronted by one of the waif-like popsicle sticks in attendance, and she assumed me to be confused.  "No, no, honey...it's just, if i'm going to drink at a party, let's drink.  I don't care if you've done it in a car, on a plane, in the rain, etc."

Long story short, I left after 45 minutes of attendance.  I could endure no more.  I am truly old and curmudgeonly.  I'd much rather be home drawing, watching a movie, or something of the like.

It may be a surprising declaration for me to say that I am truly not ashamed, sad, or otherwise bothered by the fact that I am no longer a party guy.  I have an outstanding girlfriend, a nice apartment (till I can't pay for it any longer), and I do have cool friends, albeit they're all in Michigan or other states.  I really have no need to play the game to get more people to like me while imbibing the goofy juice.

Having taken separate cars, I bid my girlfriend adieu after ensuring that she was alright with my leaving.  She wanted to spend a little more time with her friend, and that was fine with me.  I was only worried because a person she didn't like very well happened to show up shortly before I left.  I wanted to make sure she wouldn't get into any trouble.

Now I sit at home working and relaxing.  All-in-all though, not a bad evening.

The beginning/ TDK thoughts

You, the reader, stand at the threshold of an experiment.  This experiment will decide whether a penniless young artist with some entertaining opinions and a mountain of debt can begin to possibly support himself with a blog.  The process will be long and grueling.  Success will not be achieved immediately.  But with your help, O My Brothers, will I attempt to viddy financial security from my own malenky glazzballs.

We shall hope that I must not resort to talking of Geico car insurance, of cheap airline tickets, or of imax or fandango movie ticket reservations.

Speaking of imax, however, my girlfriend and I attended a midnight showing of The Dark Knight last night.  It should be said from here on out for my blog's benefit that DC comics' the Joker is my favorite character of all time.  Let me just say that I was happy with all of the Joker parts.  The pacing of the film helped its 2.5 hour runtime to zip along and keep its audience interested.  I did have trouble understanding some of Batman's lines, though.  Christian Bale's Batman voice seems to have become akin to a man with a frog in his throat.  I found myself at several points in the film wanting to offer him a lozenge or a glass of water.

Furthermore, I love the casting of Michael Caine as Alfred, but his cockney accent got in the way more than a few times.  It was like listening to Ozzy Osbourne or Keith Richards delivering key dialogue.

I digress.  Heath Ledger's Joker is easily the reason to see this movie once and again.  I was saddened by Heath's passing before, but now I am irate that he is gone.  I blame Lee Strasberg for Heath's death, personally.  Just so everyone can play, Lee Strasberg is considered by many to be the patriarch of modern method acting, and to be sure, method acting killed Heath Ledger.  He got so into the role as the Joker that he became VERY depressed and could not sleep.  He took sleeping pills to try and combat this, but (on purpose or not) he took entirely too many.

Any other review points would be spoilers for people who have not yet seen the film.  It must also be said in this first post that I loathe spoilers and the people who blurt them out.  I am a proponent of letting people enjoy the movie for themselves.  This means:

• Do NOT walk in late to a movie unless it cannot be helped.
• Do NOT talk during the film (unless whispering).
• Turn off your cellphone PLEASE.
• Do NOT spoil the movie for others by blabbing about key points after seeing it.

*sigh* Now that that is over with, I recommend seeing The Dark Knight at least once.  There are a lot of good things in the film, the greatest of which being Ledger's Joker.

In the future, I hope to talk more about my favorite subjects on this blog.  These include film, comic books, video games, and art in general.  Expect a kooky, kitschy edge, love for B-movies and their popculture ilk, and, above all, not taking everything so seriously.

Until we meet again, my friends, live well, laugh often, and use your head!

Don't let the positrons hit you on the way out!